What I did at SSWC 2010

Mello Velo
Photo: Helen Brumby

What an amazing opportunity. A World Champs in New Zealand, that I didn't have to qualify for! It was my only reason to see in the new year - tickets went on sale at midnight. I remember sitting there, enduring a few technical glitches (overloading), and loading up my credit card with the entry fee and a few extra souvenirs.

What an amazing event. I had originally planned to make a week of it with the family, but circumstances changed and my big riding holiday was whittled down to one night away. I chose wisely and decided to forgo the so-called "compulsory" briefing on Friday night. The briefing essentially instructed competitors to be responsible with their irresponsible drinking.

We idled into the Whakarewarewa carpark at about 9am on Saturday with Megan riding shotgun. We got ourselves kitted up and ready for a big day. I felt suitably ridiculous in my Mello Velo superhero costume, and seemed to blend into the crowd. Megan had made herself a cheerleading outfit from crepe paper, in colours that matched her bike - very swish.

We were herded into a big circular pen and instructed to ride around clockwise until the gate opened at some undetermined point in time. At this point Antoine introduced himself, which was neat, but there was no time to talk. I think I managed just one slow stop-start lap of the pen before flowing out onto the course. We soon came to a halt again at the next narrow gateway to the upper carpark, and again on each subsequent corner. Eventually we made our way slowly across the bridge, around the sharp left hand bend to the start of the track and the first hill. From here we were off our bikes and pushing for most of the next half hour. Eventually the track pointed downwards and most people got back on. I was surprised to see a few people walking, and quite a few people riding very slowly. It was actually quite challenging to ride so slowly!

Cheeeeeese!
Photo: Helen Brumby

The tracks were all really great fun, with the good weather over the previous week leaving the trails groomed and tacky. There was heaps of traffic right through until the end of A-trail, slowing things down. I didn't mind riding up Wash Road, knowing that I was getting ever closer to the beer shortcut. I loved Be Rude Not To, riding it on my own with no traffic to contend with (after Marilyn Monroe let me pass), and rolled into the beer tent with a big grin and even bigger thirst. It was a beautiful clear and sunny day, at least 20 degrees. The beer went down a treat. I caught up to Catherine, dressed as an aerobics instructor fresh from the 80's.

We left the beer tent, refreshed and ready to tackle Pig Track. Up we went and like everyone else, we walked the last bit. We did a bit of Soakhole, Turkish Delight, the good bit of Challenge, then Dipper, and onto Rockdrop. This is where my SSWC story pauses, and my A&E side-story begins.

I had been taking the 'Nana & Slow' lines, instead of the 'Hard & Fast' lines and (sorry to say), this was no exception. (A crash on the Hard line would have made a much better story). After pushing up the hill for what seemed like forever, I got on and rolled into the Nana line. In hindsight, I think I may have been going too slow. I was trying to figure out where the 'Hard & Fast' line merged with the Nana line. I was weaving off course a bit (inattention), slowed a bit to survey the area to my right (more inattention), saw a little step coming and lined myself up. Another little weave had me too far left and my front wheel went over the step about the same time I saw the small tree. "Oh". Bang! Crash! I rolled over and ended up kneeling on the track thinking, "yes, I'm alright. No sore neck, shoulder, or back. Hmm, I hit my hand. *looks down at hand* Ooh, that's not right." My pinky was pointing north west, so I grabbed it, pulled it out and tried to straighten it. It was mildly successful and didn't hurt, so I had another go. Same result. I took off my glove. Pinky was straightish, but not really looking how a pinky should.

Smashed 'em, bro!

A spectator came over to pick my bike up off the track and I got to my feet. Thankfully, the spectator offered to get my bike down to the road. We made our way along the course, jumping out of the way of riders, then bush bashed for a bit to take a shortcut. Once on the road, I thanked him for helping me and assured him I'd be fine to walk back from there.

I made it all the way back to the starting arena and was looking forward to stopping and calling Megan, when someone raced past too close and clipped my handlebar. My bike fell in front of me and I fell on it trying not to put my damaged pinky hand down to save myself. Result? A good bump and graze on my shin bone. Just adding insult to injury by falling in front of all those spectators. (Hopefully they were too drunk to notice).

I found Megan and we went back to the car. The next four and a bit hours at Lakes Care Medical Centre went something like... icepack #1, prodding, xrays 1-4, "yes, it's broken", icepack #2, prodding, ring block injection (yeow!), reduction (pulling, prodding, squeezing of which I felt nothing - bliss!), strapping, xrays 5&6, re-strapping. Sounds quick, but it isn't. Finally, after that diversion we got lunch at about 4:30pm.

And now we resume our SSWC story.

We headed to the Pig n Whistle to meet Slim and Michelle, and others. Once again, the beers were cool and refreshing. The Swine Lager was well-earned by this stage of the day. We eventually sauntered around to the SSWC HQ Marquee and continued our rehydration regime, pausing to inhale one of the burgers from the Lord of the Fries caravan.

There was some sort of prizegiving ceremony and presentation of winners tattoos of which I was too short to see (and quite frankly, more interested in keeping up my rehydration regime). I listened for my name for a spot prize, but it never came. Brad scored an amazing prize pack for Agroventures, lucky sod.

We drank more Speights, talked and laughed all night. I met lots of people I know through Vorb, and finally put more faces to names. There were lots of odd-looking people in attendance - some of them were my friends. Best t-shirt award goes to some Aussies (I think) with "Jeebus, 36:19" on the front (or was it 39:16?).

Megan and I eventually retreated to our illustrious shared accommodation at Treks Backpackers (thanks to a voucher scored at the last winter N-Duro), tired and happy. I popped a couple of codeine tablets and managed to get a little bit of sleep between the aches and pains.

Sunday started with breakfast at Zippy Central, and secondsies with the late-risers, which set us up for the drive home. We stopped off so I could Shweeb (I had a discount voucher for that too), but my cooked breakfast and weakened state was only good enough for a 1:09:something. Megan was chauffeur until Cambridge, then I went solo all the way through to Pukekohe for my sister-in-law's birthday lunch (I was late, but Happy Birthday anyway!!).

It was an epic overnighter and one I won't forget! Special thanks to Megan for being there for me. ;) I think I could happily follow the SSWC caravan around the world each year with the right bunch of friends. Happy trails, everyone.