No TV and No Beer...

... make Homer something, something.  No riding and no racing make Mel something, something, too.

I took a slightly enforced break from riding over winter.  Slightly enforced because no one has said "no riding", but they did suggest there are certain things I should be avoiding (things that hurt).

For the past 18+ months I have had pain from two mildly herniated discs in my back and something strange going on giving me gip in my hip. I'm seeking treatment, but it is a slow road unlocking things have have been locked up for so long, unnoticed and untreated.

All this because I decided that digging up and moving our feijoa trees was a good idea. I didn't stop when my back hurt, I didn't stop when it went numb either - that just meant I could continue without pain. Stupid is as stupid does, right? And now stupid is paying for it with an undefined length of time off the bike.

I pushed the limits of my injury early in 2013, by riding frequently and doing a few events and rides that I had planned. I battled with pain and discomfort (not always whilst riding) and never felt like I was healing. At times, riding the bike was a kind of euphoric agony. Once winter came it was time to hang up the bikes and look after the body.

The most significant delay to my recovery seems to have been... delays. Waiting to see a particular specialist, waiting to get an x-ray, or scan, waiting for the results, or just waiting to see what a particular set of stretches might achieve. I haven't handled all the waiting all that well. Combine the frustration and tension from a lack of bicycle riding with pain and frustration of injury (or ailment) and at times I've been pretty angry, depressed, short tempered, bitchy, or just unpleasant to be around.

It's been a strange rollercoaster of emotions. Some days I'd wake up and get out of bed as if there was nothing wrong - the pain was negligible. This would put doubts in my mind that anything was even wrong and I'd wonder if it was all in my head. Reality would kick in as soon as I started to increase my activity, ride my bike, or merely reach for something on the table - Pow! there it was again.

At times I've been scared to move. Lying in bed, or sitting somewhere and realising that I could feel nothing. The sweet bliss of pain-free nothingness. I wanted it to last forever. Don't move. But I would have to get up or move and drag myself back to reality. The most annoying part of this injury is that it is such a minor issue and should have been resolved within a few months. But things don't always go as planned.

With help from a physio (who identified my weaknesses in the first visit), I've been making some progress. Slow progress, but I now find I can ride short distances. I can ride my 'cross bike on the road for 30-60 minutes depending on the terrain and level of exertion. My mountain bike is quite a bit more comfortable with its suspension, smaller gears to push and a more upright riding position, so I can ride that a bit further/longer. This makes me happy. Unless I get lazy and don't do my exercises, then I get really sore again.

I thought last year was the year I'd get back to riding and racing, now it's this year. This Year. It's up to me to make it happen. So it's little steps, or little rides, for now. Prioritising time for doing my exercises and making that commitment to myself.